One month - Twin B

It's been one month since we lost our precious Twin B. We love and will miss you always our sweet little boy!

D and C

So I'd been having some issues and so today I went to see my doctor. It was a really hard apt because there was a mom with her twin babies there, a boy and girl, and the lady who called us into the room was hugely pregnant. He sent me for an ultrasound (which was also hard because the last time i had an ultrasound we still had Twin B - although he'd already passed, and the last time we had an ultrasound at that place we were still pregnant with the Twins and doing great!) and they determined there was still some stuff left behind so they sent me back to my doctor who sent me to the hospital for a D and C.
The plan was to have it done today, so once I got there they got me admitted and put me in a room on the maternity floor again, and we waited to have the IV started.
Eventually our doctor came in and told us it was now scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning.
So James and I sat there wondering if we could go home.
Finally a nurse came in and told us that we could go home but they were going to have to give me an antibiotic through an IV first and then we'd have to go back there in 8 hours for another dose and at that point stay the rest of the night.
The IV being put in was an adventure, they got it on the third try, the second attempt by the expert nurse, and then we waited over an hour for them to get the medication, plus an addition half an hour to get the medication and some saline run through.
So we're suppose to be back there for 3am for the second dose of antibiotic, but we'll probably head back for around 1:30 or so.
My doctor also is putting me on an antidepressant. :(

One month - Twin A

It's been one month since we lost our precious Twin A. We love and will miss you always our sweet little girl!

Thank-you

Thank-you all for your kind words and support. It is really appreciated. It is nice to be able to communicate with people who understand what we're going through, although it is also very sad that anyone has to go through this.
I know that a lot of you have been here for my friend and I can't thank-you enough for that. She has been an amazing shoulder for me - I am so grateful to have her in my life and it is nice to know that she has you guys here for her. She is a special person with an amazing heart and I know how lucky I am, and how much better of a person I am, for having met her all those years ago. It is truly a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Twin A's sex

On July 25th, I felt the guilt worse than I ever had about not finding out Twin A's sex. I decided to be proactive and call the hospital in hopes I could talk to the nurse who was with us in emerg. No luck there but I think the lady in records that I was talking to felt bad for me and ended up revealing the gender of Twin A, apparently the report has already come back. She didn't mean to tell me - she knew we knew one of the Twin's genders but I don't think she meant to tell me the one I didn't know. She said afterwards that if we go to our doctor's office there may be a report we'd be interested in.
I was right in what I was thinking the gender was but I feel better now knowing for sure. I am glad that I took action to find out so at least some of that guilt could be gone. It will still always be there for not finding out at the time but that is something I can't go back and change I guess.

20 weeks

Today we should be 20 weeks pregnant, we were scheduled for an ultrasound at 10:30 this morning and were going to find out the sexes. I am trying to get through the day, I guess I am because I'm here and the day is slowly passing by.
On the brighter side, I had a great friend who has also had a tremendous loss and is an Angel Baby Mama, call me today. It was so nice to hear her voice and talk to her about things that only someone who has gone through a similar experience can understand. So thank-you so much my dear friend.